A Juice a Day

Apologies for the backlog on juice blog posts, but fear not, we're still drinking a juice a day, and we even have an awesome photo ready for the next post. Also, Juice Club is sponsoring Juice Bowling: The Alley Challenge, which was inspired by the aforementioned photo shoot.

So, about Tropical Energy. I (Alta) am quite enamored of it. While I agree with Helena in that it tastes a little like guava juice (even though guava is not an ingredient), I think it's quite tasty. Another strong point is that it's quite liquid/clear/not-smoothie-like, and I prefer the juices that are not so thick. Tropical Energy is quite sweet and possibly has a slight pineapple flavor as well. Others present at the juice sampling didn't really like the juice that much, so perhaps it depends on your taste.

Rating: 2 (high, I know, but I do like it.)

On a completely unrelated note, this song is pretty awesome:
Dimmer (mp3) by Bishop Allen

(Helena's edit: Hello, just a note to tell you how much I don't like this juice. I don't. It's pretty much guava juice and guava juice is nasty. That is all. Oh, and

Rating (-5 to 5): -1.5.

Current set I'm procrastinating on: chemistry...but I'm almost done! And I should go to class.)

The guest blogger is on hiatus to recover from juice trauma. She will be posting soon. Or eventually. On the other hand, I (as in we, as in Helena and Alta) thought that it was quite decent and tastes pretty much like mango juice, which isn't bad at all. I (Helena) give it a zero.

To our beloved readers,

I am quite excited by the number of hits this blog is getting, and you are no doubt wondering if we will be updating soon. We have a guest blogger (in accordance with our "maximize the juice hate" policy) who will be dishing on Mo' Beta (what a name) soon, and more exciting things are in development as well:

• A new, juicy blog layout!
  
• A catchy juice song played by the club members!
• With a darling video starring juice!
• And of course, more awesome vitriol-filled reviews! We won't sell out to juice companies in hopes of getting free samples, ever!
  

Stay tuned!

Procrastinating on: Physics quiz, math midterm, and physics lab.

Hi, this is Alta blogging about Naked's Strawberry Kiwi Kick. Why not Helena? At "A Juice a Day", our goal is to maximize the amount of hate. Surprisingly, I, the leftover juice disposal who thinks everything is ok, disliked this juice more than any of the other members of Juice Club. Perhaps it was because I had some sweet Chinese candy right before drinking it, but even after I drank some more, I found it to be too sour for my taste. It even had a very slight bitter aftertaste. I guess its lack of sweetness makes sense, since it's labeled "No Sugar Added", but strawberry kiwi sounded so good that I had really high expectations, which were then dashed. If you put this in front of me, of course I'd drink it, but I wouldn't buy it.

Rating: -0.54321

(Helena editing: I like this juice better than Alta which is really weird indeed. It's not that sweet but strawberries and kiwis - at least juice quality - are not very sweet either, so it was ok. I didn't have high hopes because I pretty much don't like juice, so it didn't dash any. I'd give it a 0).

(Note: This is Helena hijacking Alta's account once again.)

Take notice, juice conglomerate executives: Superfood is how NOT to make juices. There are so many things wrong with it that this blog post will only attempt to fully skim the surface. In fact, it's time for a numbered list!

1. The juice has exactly the same color as the pond in the picture above. This does not make anyone want to drink it. In fact, there are many good colors for juices but sludge is not one of them.
   
2. And the consistency of slime.
3. The description contains such marvelous praise as "gushing garden gulp." Subliminal warnings?
4. Lovely ingredients such as wheat and barley grass, wheat sprouts, Jerusalem Artichoke (actually a sunflower - identity crisis, anyone?), and Nova Scotia Dulse (red algae). Exotic ingredients do not inspire juice confidence
   
5. Smells dreadful. Kind of like beans, but nasty.
6. Taste has a striking resemblance to vomit. This is the worst part, of course. The first ingredient is apple juice, which is twisted and mutated into something sour and disgusting by the other crap in this thing.

Is this me being a juice hater, you ask? In fact, the loathing for this juice is almost universal among Juice Club and the Random People Who Ate Dinner at the Same Table. Reactions range from hatred (like me) to "it's okay," which is really, really bad because usually any awful juice has some people who like it. I know exactly one person who likes this, which is testament to its true awfulness.

Taste (-5 to +5): -4.5. It's difficult to imagine something looking and tasting worse, but I have to save some spots for, I dunno, bitter melon juice?

Would drink again? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Current set I'm procrastinating on: Physics lab.

I'm tired tonight and tonight is as good as any to drink 1/24 of the dozen 5-hour energy bottles I have. Since this is a juice blog, not necessarily a fruit juice blog, I will use my executive authority to live-blog about my experiences after drinking half a bottle. Read on!

10:48 PM: I drink half a bottle. Tastes horrible. I would give it a -2.

12:22 PM: Yes, this is a really bad live-blog. I didn't blog for the longest time because nothing happened. I may have gotten a little flushed, but it was difficult to tell. Now, however, I seem to be slightly more awake. I don't know if this is due to the drink or because I passed the valley of sleepiness, but it could very possibly have something to do with the caffeine. Back to work on chem lab.

In conclusion: I seem to be pretty awake the next night, but it could have been due to not much sleep (Also, note that the bottle says 5-Hour Energy and not 24-Hour). Overall though, I'd say it didn't do much for me, so I've got lots and lots in my room for anyone who wants some energy (that may or may not happen) for their ACM 95 Set.