A Juice a Day

(Note: This is Helena hijacking Alta's account once again.)

Take notice, juice conglomerate executives: Superfood is how NOT to make juices. There are so many things wrong with it that this blog post will only attempt to fully skim the surface. In fact, it's time for a numbered list!

1. The juice has exactly the same color as the pond in the picture above. This does not make anyone want to drink it. In fact, there are many good colors for juices but sludge is not one of them.
   
2. And the consistency of slime.
3. The description contains such marvelous praise as "gushing garden gulp." Subliminal warnings?
4. Lovely ingredients such as wheat and barley grass, wheat sprouts, Jerusalem Artichoke (actually a sunflower - identity crisis, anyone?), and Nova Scotia Dulse (red algae). Exotic ingredients do not inspire juice confidence
   
5. Smells dreadful. Kind of like beans, but nasty.
6. Taste has a striking resemblance to vomit. This is the worst part, of course. The first ingredient is apple juice, which is twisted and mutated into something sour and disgusting by the other crap in this thing.

Is this me being a juice hater, you ask? In fact, the loathing for this juice is almost universal among Juice Club and the Random People Who Ate Dinner at the Same Table. Reactions range from hatred (like me) to "it's okay," which is really, really bad because usually any awful juice has some people who like it. I know exactly one person who likes this, which is testament to its true awfulness.

Taste (-5 to +5): -4.5. It's difficult to imagine something looking and tasting worse, but I have to save some spots for, I dunno, bitter melon juice?

Would drink again? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Current set I'm procrastinating on: Physics lab.