(*Disclaimer: This is actually Helena writing. Because Alta would never hate Mango Tango.)
The bottles performing their specialty dance.
By some sort of freak of nature, two of us Juice Club members bought the same juice at about the same time. Mango Tango is supposed to be one of the better juices. However, I have never been fond of mango juice; mango is one of my favorite fruits but the juices always add something terrible to ruin it. This juice, with its mango puree, apple juice, orange juice, banana puree, coconut and lemon juice, is no exception to adding strange things to mango. It has a base taste of mango but the apple is also tasteable. It's not awful and undrinkable, but it isn't great either. I'm still of the opinion that mangoes should stay in their lovely fruit forms.
Taste (-5 to +5): 0. I really tried to give it a positive rating, but I couldn't in the end. It really didn't do anything for me. Also it has 30g of sugar and not much of anything else in each serving.
Would drink again? No. :( I wish I liked it since all of Juice Club likes it except me, but alas.
Current set I'm procrastinating on: Still math and chem lab. I have actually done nothing from the last post to this one. Unfortunately.
Taste (-5 to +5): 0. I really tried to give it a positive rating, but I couldn't in the end. It really didn't do anything for me. Also it has 30g of sugar and not much of anything else in each serving.
Would drink again? No. :( I wish I liked it since all of Juice Club likes it except me, but alas.
Current set I'm procrastinating on: Still math and chem lab. I have actually done nothing from the last post to this one. Unfortunately.
Yesterday's juice selections (two to make up for the day before) were, unfortunately, both really, spectacularly awful in different ways.
The Mojito Mambo tastes like the Mojito gum I tried before (unsurprisingly), a sophisticated taste that my roommate calls "detergent." I'm not sure if the real alcoholic drink tastes like this monster, but I feel sorry it it does. From the description, you'd think that with prickly pear, lime and lemon you can't go wrong, but it tastes like hyper sweet death. Just awful. I couldn't even finish the tiny bit I poured into my own cup.
On the other hand, the Pomegranate Acai Berry (only 5% juice) tastes exactly like cherry cough syrup. It's as if the people at Fuze decided to make less viscous cough syrup and market it as something exotic and wonderful, which it does not.
Tastes (-5 to +5): -4 and -3. I think that there must be far worse juices out there and I'm limiting my options right now, but I can always kill my scale for something even more putrid.
Would drink again? If I want to punish myself.
Current set I'm procrastinating on: math and chem lab.
The awesome penguin pwning the terrible monster machine.
Despite the package saying that I will fall "head over heels," the only way I can see myself falling head over heels is to drink so much and faint from its awfulness. It's not exquisitely terrible as to be memorable, however. It's more like something that you sip and think, hmm, well, that was pretty bad, but not that bad. And yet you are unable to make much progress on the bottle, just like I am doing now.
As to what it actually is, Red Machine is a terrible machine of strawberries, raspberries, pomegranate, cranberries, apples, red grapes, oranges (???), and bananas (????). Besides the fact that oranges and bananas are not, last time I checked, red, I'm unsure why they were added as they do not improve the taste (orange juice and banana puree are in fact the 3rd and 4th largest ingredients ahead of many of their red compatriots). The dominant taste, although it is hard to tell, would be strawberry in my opinion, which does not do it any favor since real strawberry is far inferior to strawberry-flavored foods.
Taste (-5 to +5): -1.5. I should explain the scale right now. I think that scales should have negative values for things that have a negative impact on my life. Like this juice. 0 means it does nothing, and the rare positives will be ones that have improved my life.
Finished? Not even close
Would drink again? No.
Interesting ingredients: Flax seed, "natural flavors" (in addition to the huge conglomerate of juices already in there?)
Current set I'm procrastinating on: Physics
I had never tried Naked/Odwalla/Fuze juice before in my life. In fact, I am not a huge fruit juice fan. I have rarely finished juices, which is why I'm very glad this experiment will be done on D-Bal. It's just that by the 4th sip or so, the flavor starts getting old, and I start calling for my roommate(Hello!) to finish it for me.
In my research, I will strive to answer these fundamental questions:
- Why does almost every single fruit juice contain white grape juice?
- What other mysterious ingredients are in our juices?
- Why am I blogging about fruit juice instead of doing sets?
And of course, will there be a juice that I can finish one day out of my own volition?
Stay tuned!
Current music: Snow (Hey-Oh), Red Hot Chili Peppers
Current set I'm procrastinating on: Physics
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