The awesome penguin pwning the terrible monster machine.
Despite the package saying that I will fall "head over heels," the only way I can see myself falling head over heels is to drink so much and faint from its awfulness. It's not exquisitely terrible as to be memorable, however. It's more like something that you sip and think, hmm, well, that was pretty bad, but not that bad. And yet you are unable to make much progress on the bottle, just like I am doing now.
As to what it actually is, Red Machine is a terrible machine of strawberries, raspberries, pomegranate, cranberries, apples, red grapes, oranges (???), and bananas (????). Besides the fact that oranges and bananas are not, last time I checked, red, I'm unsure why they were added as they do not improve the taste (orange juice and banana puree are in fact the 3rd and 4th largest ingredients ahead of many of their red compatriots). The dominant taste, although it is hard to tell, would be strawberry in my opinion, which does not do it any favor since real strawberry is far inferior to strawberry-flavored foods.
Taste (-5 to +5): -1.5. I should explain the scale right now. I think that scales should have negative values for things that have a negative impact on my life. Like this juice. 0 means it does nothing, and the rare positives will be ones that have improved my life.
Finished? Not even close
Would drink again? No.
Interesting ingredients: Flax seed, "natural flavors" (in addition to the huge conglomerate of juices already in there?)
Current set I'm procrastinating on: Physics
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3 comments:
I already forgot what this tastes like
Dude. Red Machine is my favorite Naked Juice :(. I think you have no taste.
Similarly, I'm pretty sure I liked the Mojito Mambo? Only had it once though.
Mango Tango is good every once in a while.
Green Machine is indeed gross though.
*Sigh*. Heathen non-juice-person.
As opposed to, say, something normal like orange juice or peach mangosteen? Also mojito mambo is so bad that even Alta doesn't really like it. Anyways, the point of the Juice Club is for a heathen like me to try all juices before infinite dbal ends. Perhaps I will undergo a transformation of opinion.
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